I’ve been putting off writing this for a while now, because I’m not that great of a writer and there’s a lot of emotions that should be conveyed. But you guys have been following my pregnancy and watching Lily grow up in my sparse posts since her birth, so you guys deserve to hear everything. Lily’s biological father got into a four-wheeler accident in October. Since then, he’s been paralyzed from his elbows down. We’re still unsure if he’ll recover completely, but we’re trying to maintain faith. In case you didn’t know, Trenton left me when I was three months pregnant. I didn’t want to be with him either, honestly, but it was still a big blow and it took a while to recover. This made my pregnancy extremelt complicated, though not health-wise for the baby (and that’s really all that mattered.) I had no idea what type of environment and family structure I was going to bring my child in because her father abandoned me. He began dating someone else, “B” while working in Oklahoma, meerly weeks after dumping me. We didn’t talk for months. After delivering Lily, he made a few feeble attempts to act like her father. Don’t misunderstand me, I would love for hom to be a part of her life. But I call it how I see it, and I saw him sucking as a father. Lily’s dad, my boyfriend Eric, has a lot of trouble digesting the fact that I want Trenton in her life. He’s obviously not a fan of his, but let’s me make my own opinions. Anyway, I digress. Trenton’s mother called and told me about the accident, forgetting to mention he was on a four-wheeler riding jumps, etc in Oklahoma where he works. (we live in Louisiana.). I learned the details later. I was extremely upset.. Until I learned this was his own doing. Then I was upset and beyond pissed. He has a kid at home. He shouldn’t have been being stupid. Ok, so he was wearing a helmet. That did a lot of good. While in the hospital, he said he miss Lil very often. But I don’t understand. If he missed her so much, he could have came home more. No excuses. The girl he dated after me? They broke up for a short time towards the end of my pregnancy. He had intentions of getting back together & he had a lot of mean things to say about B when he came home. Well, lo & behold they’re back together. And engaged. And planning to have children. 1. You bought an engagement ring for a girl you’ve known for less than a year before you sent money home to your child. 2. You don’t really like this girl. You are settling because you’re scared you’ll never find someone else. 3. Maybe you should take care of the child you already have before making more. Besides, my daughter doesn’t need stupid half-siblings. People post on his Facebook wall all the time, sending him well wishes and prayers and uplifting messages. People I barely even know say things like “get better soon, Lily needs her daddy.” Excuse me, do NOT talk about MY child. You’ve never met her and she DOES NOT need him. I understand they’re trying to cheer him up but it pisses me off beyond belief. As I’ve said before, I’d like him to be in her life, but she doesn’t need him. She doesn’t need anybody except me, her mother. The woman who carried her in the womb for 10 months, the one who changes the constant stream of dirty diapers & rocks her to sleep every night, the crazy lady who cried when she smiled, laughed, rolled, babbled for the first time. I am her mommy, and I’ll always be there for her, just like I always have been.
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Lily trenton motherhood
